Miss Rwanda

I learned that the traditional, ideal body type for women in Rwandan culture is:

1) Big hips

2) small waist

3) small breasts

4) big eyes

5) gap between teeth

6) white teeth

7) black gums

8) “tall but not too tall.”

9) Dimples

10) Awesome personality

Ok, I made the last one up. But I think that should be universal.

I asked a staff member if the ideal body and beauty was changing and she said, “Yes, because of the Miss Rwandan pageant.” Apparently, the winner of Miss Rwanda, who went onto win Miss East Africa, was criticized as not being truly beautiful by many Rwandans – she did not have the big eyes, or the big hips, and was very tall. She was beautiful by today’s East African Standards, which perhaps are not so different than super-model standards, but not by many Rwandan standards. She didn’t even have the gap in the teeth which Madonna and one model on America’s Next Top Model (ANTM) both have. In ANTM, the model’s gap was actually made larger in the “Makeover Episode!” The price you pay to be on reality television….

Oddly, the Miss Rwanda beauty pageant seems to be organized by the government. Hooters was one of the sponsors in the 2009 pageant and the Hooters Vice President, Kat Cole, was one of the judges, who judged alongside Christine Tuyisenge of Rwanda Women Empowerment. You know, for balance. I wouldn’t feel bad about the pageant if there was a male equivalent. I wonder if Hooters would sponsor that.

But I digress.

The traditional dress matches these traditional beauty standards. The skirt is very frumpy and tied above the waist which both elongates the legs and makes the hips look big. The top is a toga-like thingy, made out of the same material, and is very loosely warn over breasts, while the left arm is exposed. The not-quite traditional weekday dress – tailored shirts and skirts that look very African but not quite uniquely Rwandan – have tops that are tailored tightly around the waist and then stick out just below the waist to make hips and butt look larger. The top of the shirt is almost always V-necked which, according to my old copies of Cosmopolitan and Teen People, makes breasts look smaller.

I asked if there was traditional male dress, and was told that there was not – that men are not, traditionally, meant to care about what they wear, but to be just strong and manly. There does, however, appear to be traditional dress for drumming, and Agahozo-Shalom students created a toga-like material for the boys, who appeared in the fashion show on Talent Night at ASYV. I saw a movie with this toga on a man getting married. It was worn over a colored shirt. The material just does not look as together as when the women wear it , perhaps because the modern male equivalent of traditional dress is wearing it over a Western colored shirt or t-shirt and it looks a bit…off. On major holidays, I only see the women in traditional dresses, while the men just wear Western dress shirts and nice trousers. Sometimes on weekdays I do see men in locally bright colorful fabric, shirts not to different from what the women wear. Except not V-necked. I can’t tell if these locally-made shirts are worn because they are cheaper or if they are, in fact, more expensive and more in demand. Remember – almost everything in Rwanda that is not traditional dress is second-hand clothing. I still don’t know if second-hand clothing imports are more in demand or just more cheap to produce. Or both.

I tried on a traditional dress and felt stunning – I love them. They are just so drapy and silky and look good on everyone. They can be adjusted so that there are straps on both shoulders and if you add a belt it becomes a dress that can almost be worn to the Oscars.

If I have time and find a good price, I will get one for my sister’s wedding.

Prices. Ah, Prices. They are weird. Powdered milk, the Nestlé-brand, cost me 3,500 francs in Rubona which I was told by Rwandan staff members is, indeed, the standard price for everyone. In Kigali there is another lesser-known brand that is 2,800. This brand is not to be found outside of Kigali, from the best of my knowledge. I suppose time and cost of transport raises the price. Or the monopoly of Nestle as a distributor. Which my family used to boycott because they would (and perhaps still?) tell mothers to use baby formula in areas where water is contaminated.

My butter milk costs twice as much as Rwandans pay, I think – I bought a cup once and paid 200 francs and another customer said, “what? But it is 100!” But I never ever pay more than twice as much, and twice as much is still around 33 cents for 500 ml. Chocolate lollypops are 50 francs (1/12^th of a dollar, so less than 10 cents) for everyone, Rwandan or not. They are the exact same price everywhere I have been to and every shop has the exact same brand. There is literally an established, universal price for a niche market good as useless and narrow as a chocolate-flavored lollypop which I honestly have never seen anyone buy before other than myself. I hope the calories go straight to my hips.